Some stress is inevitable when caring for a loved one. But unrelenting stress is bad for everyone. Think of a candle. If you leave it lit 24/7, it will quickly burn through. But if you let it rest between periods of use, it will last a long time.
Burnout isn’t simply feeling overwhelmed after a tough day. It’s a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that builds over time. Studies show that 60% of family caregivers experience its symptoms, which can result in
- emotional depletion, often leading to depression
- reduced resistance to common illnesses, such as colds and flu
- increased likelihood of a chronic disease, such as heart disease or diabetes
- lack of energy to do what is necessary for yourself and your relative
Use these strategies to avoid reaching the burnout zone:
- Accept the realities. Sometimes life is hard and unfair. Acknowledge your grief. Acknowledge any frustration or resentment. At the same time, value the ways you are skillfully addressing life’s challenges as best you can.
- Ask for help. Develop a specific list of things others can do. Keep it up to date. Consider what tasks friends or family could take over. If no one steps up, hire help.
- Give yourself time away. You may need quiet time to replenish. Or conversation and social activity. Or both! Respite is essential. Aim for personal time on a regular basis. Even fifteen minutes a day can have a positive impact.
- Care for your body. Sleep! Eat nourishing foods. Find a physical activity you can do at home (spin bike? yoga?). Keep up with dental and medical checkups.
- Maintain other interests. Don’t forsake your family, work, or hobbies. They are also part of your identity and add meaning to your life.
- Cultivate gratitude. Take a step back and reflect on the ways that caregiving has helped you grow personally. Be sure to let those who are pitching in know how much their efforts mean to you.
- Find community. Identify at least one person you can comfortably talk with—perhaps a friend, spiritual advisor, or therapist. Join a caregiver support group. It can be a relief to talk with others who really get it!
Is your candle burning at both ends?
If your answer to this question is “yes,” it’s time to take a serious look at addressing your stress. It’s not only your well-being that is at stake, but that of the person depending on you. As the Delaware, and Delaware and Chester Counties in PA experts in family caregiving, we at Delaware Palliative have seen too many family members give to the point of exhaustion and compromise their own health. You are a finite resource! Let us help you conserve your energy so you are available to help your loved one with those things only a relative can do. Give us a call at 302-478-5707.
