When someone you love dies, the days and weeks that follow can feel overwhelming. Along with grief, there may be phone calls to make, people to notify, arrangements to plan, and important decisions to handle.
It can be difficult to know what needs to happen first and what can wait.
This checklist is intended to give you a place to start. You do not have to accomplish everything at once. Take things one step at a time, ask for help when you need it, and permit yourself to focus on grieving.
In the First Few Days
Confirm the legal pronouncement of death
A legal pronouncement of death is generally made by an authorized medical professional, such as a physician, nurse, or coroner, depending on the circumstances.
If your loved one was receiving hospice care at the time of their death, the hospice team typically handles the pronouncement according to applicable requirements and can explain what happens next.
Contact the funeral home or other service provider
If funeral or cremation arrangements have not already been made, contact the funeral home, crematory, or other service provider selected by your family.
If your loved one had documented wishes for burial, cremation, or anatomical donation, look for those records and share them with the appropriate organizations.
Locate important documents
Try to find any documents that may help guide the next steps, including:
- A will or trust
- Pre-planned funeral or burial arrangements
- Life insurance policies
- Military or veteran records
- Financial and banking information
- Property records
- Advance care planning documents
If you are unsure where to begin, ask another family member or a trusted person to help you find important paperwork.
Notify close family and friends
You do not have to make every phone call yourself. Consider asking a family member or friend to help notify others. It may be helpful to designate one person to share updates with extended family and friends, so you are not repeatedly answering the same questions while you are grieving.
Make arrangements for pets and dependents
If your loved one cared for children, pets, or another dependent person, make sure their immediate needs are covered.
Secure their home and belongings
If your loved one lived alone, make arrangements to secure the home. Depending on the circumstances, this may include locking doors and windows, collecting mail, caring for pets, and securing important documents or valuables.
Notify their employer, if applicable
If your loved one was employed, contact their employer or human resources department. You may need to ask about their final paycheck, retirement benefits, insurance, or other employment-related benefits.
During the First Week or Two
Make funeral or memorial arrangements
If arrangements have not already been made, work with the funeral home to determine what type of service feels appropriate for your family.
You may also need to decide whether to:
- Hold a funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life
- Publish an obituary
- Choose burial or cremation
- Select readings, music, flowers, or other meaningful elements
- Plan a gathering for family and friends
Remember that there is no single “right” way to honor someone who has died.
Request copies of the death certificate
You will likely need certified copies of the death certificate for tasks involving financial institutions, insurance companies, government agencies, and other organizations.
Your funeral home can often help you order these. Consider asking how many copies you may need based on your loved one’s accounts and assets.
Ask about Social Security and veteran benefits
If your loved one received Social Security or was a veteran, there may be benefits or additional steps for survivors.
The funeral home may be able to assist with initial notifications, but you may also need to contact the appropriate government agency directly.
During the Following Weeks
Once the immediate arrangements have been handled, you can begin working through your loved one’s financial, legal, and personal affairs.
There is no need to tackle everything at once. Make a list and work through it gradually.
Begin settling the estate
If your loved one had a will, locate it and determine who was named as executor or personal representative. Depending on the circumstances, the estate may need to go through probate.
You may wish to consult an estate attorney or other qualified professional before making significant financial or legal decisions.
Notify important organizations and institutions
Depending on your loved one’s circumstances, you may need to notify:
- Banks and credit unions
- Mortgage companies
- Credit card companies
- Life insurance companies
- Investment or retirement account providers
- Social Security
- Veterans Affairs
- The DMV
- Credit reporting agencies
- Utility and service providers
- Insurance companies
- The appropriate tax authorities
Keep a record of who you contact, when you contacted them, and any information or documentation they request.
Review ongoing bills and services
Make a list of recurring expenses and accounts, such as:
- Mortgage or rent
- Utilities
- Home and auto insurance
- Phone and internet services
- Streaming and other subscriptions
- Vehicle payments
- Credit cards
- Student loans
- Medical bills
- Property taxes
Before paying or closing accounts, consider speaking with the person handling the estate or an attorney. Some debts and obligations are handled through the estate, and the process can vary depending on the circumstances.
Keep essential services, such as utilities and homeowners insurance, active until you determine what should happen with the property.
Don’t Forget Digital Accounts
Many people have a significant digital presence, including email, social media, online subscriptions, photographs, and financial accounts.
You may eventually need to:
- Forward your loved one’s mail through the U.S. Postal Service
- Determine how to access or close email accounts
- Cancel online subscriptions
- Close or transfer digital services
- Memorialize or deactivate social media accounts
Each platform has its own policies for handling accounts belonging to someone who has died. Avoid sharing passwords or accessing accounts in ways that violate the provider’s policies.
Caring for Their Home and Belongings
Going through a loved one’s belongings can be one of the most emotional parts of the process.
You do not have to clean out the entire home immediately.
Start by securing important documents, financial records, photographs, jewelry, and other valuables. Then, when you are ready, work with family members or trusted friends to decide how and when to sort through personal belongings.
Give yourself time. There is no required timeline for deciding what to keep, donate, give to family members, or let go.
Most Importantly: Give Yourself Grace
After someone dies, there can be a tremendous amount to do—but grief does not follow a checklist.
Some days you may feel ready to make phone calls and take care of practical matters. Other days, simply getting through the day may be enough.
Ask family members and friends for help. Let others make meals, make phone calls, run errands, or help organize paperwork when they offer.
And remember that you do not have to navigate grief alone.
If your loved one received care from Delaware Hospice, our Bereavement Support team is available to help families navigate the grief that follows a loss. Grief support may look different for everyone, and reaching out for support is one way to take care of yourself during this difficult time.
Take things one step at a time. There is no need to have everything figured out today.
This article was adapted for Delaware Hospice from “What to Do When Someone Dies: A Checklist,” originally published by betterleave.
