• Inform your child’s school about what is happening with their loved one. Children are in school for a big portion of their day. The school staff can be a resource and support for your child during this time.
• Use concrete words like death, dying, and cancer with a child. Saying things like, their loved one is at rest or going to sleep, will only confuse them and may create a fear of going to bed.
• Try and keep to their schedule as much as possible. This includes bed times, attending school, activities, boundaries, limits, and rewards/consequences for behavior. Children need structure and routine, especially during this time, as it helps them maintain a feeling of safety and security.
• Let children know that it is okay to talk about what is happening with their loved one. Children see and hear things that adults may not be aware of. It is important to allow them to ask about things they are unsure of, so they do not get wrong information that may be confusing.
• Once your child has been told that their loved one is dying, identify a plan on how they will be informed of the death. A child may worry that they will not be able to say goodbye or be told when their loved one dies. Saying goodbye is important to a child and helps them get the closure they need.
• Talk to your child about the funeral arrangements and prepare them for what they will experience. Allow your child to attend the funeral, memorial service, viewing, etc. if they want to. Identify a friend of family member who can help you observe the child incase it becomes too much for them.
• Let a child see your emotions. This allows them to know that it is okay to be sad, angry, upset, or even happy.
• A child may need more attention at this time, please be patient with them. This is a tough time for a child and a child may need extra support from the adults in their life.
