Grief can show up in unexpected ways. Sometimes, a song, a familiar smell, or the taste of a favorite meal can suddenly bring someone you love to mind. For a moment, you may feel as though they’re right there with you.
Our senses are closely connected to memory. A familiar scent can remind us of a particular place. A favorite song can bring back a special moment. A recipe can remind us of Sunday dinners around the table.
These moments can sometimes bring sadness, but they can also bring comfort.
Finding intentional ways to remember someone you love can be a meaningful part of living with grief. And you don’t need to create an elaborate memorial or ritual. Sometimes, the smallest reminders can carry the greatest meaning.
Here are some ways you can use your five senses to remember and honor your loved one.
Touch
Physical objects can hold powerful memories.
Consider finding something you can hold or wear that reminds you of your loved one:
- Have a blanket made from some of their clothing.
- Wear a piece of their jewelry.
- Keep a small keepsake in your pocket, such as a keychain, stone, or piece of fabric.
- Hold a favorite object that belonged to them.
- Create a memory box filled with meaningful items.
You might also try something creative. Paint a rock with a favorite saying or symbol, create a scrapbook, or make something that reminds you of a special memory you shared.
Writing can be another way to stay connected. You could write your loved one a letter, tell them about something that happened in your life, or simply write down a favorite memory.
Taste
Food can connect us to people, places, and memories.
Try preparing your loved one’s favorite meal or baking something they enjoyed.
You might:
- Make a family recipe they loved.
- Visit their favorite restaurant or café.
- Prepare a meal they taught you to make.
- Share their favorite dessert with family or friends.
- Make a special toast in their memory.
Cooking a familiar recipe can become a meaningful tradition, especially when the recipe itself has been passed down through your family.
And don’t worry if you don’t make it exactly the way they did.
Sometimes, it’s the memory—not the recipe—that matters most.
Smell
Scent can be particularly powerful when it comes to memory.
A familiar perfume, cologne, soap, candle, or even the smell of a particular food can bring back memories almost instantly.
You might:
- Wear their favorite perfume or cologne.
- Light a candle with a scent that reminds you of them.
- Use a favorite lotion or soap.
- Keep dried flowers or another scented keepsake.
- Spend time in a place that has a familiar smell associated with your loved one.
Be gentle with yourself, though. A familiar scent may bring comfort one day and sadness another. You don’t have to seek out a particular memory if you’re not ready for it.
Sight
Photographs and familiar places can help keep memories close.
Consider:
- Displaying photographs in a place where you can see them often.
- Creating a small remembrance space in your home.
- Looking through old photographs or letters.
- Watching a favorite movie together with family members.
- Reading a book or poem your loved one enjoyed.
- Visiting a meaningful place you shared.
You might also create a photo album or digital collection that tells the story of their life.
There is no right number of photographs to display or right way to remember someone. Choose what feels comforting to you.
Sound
Music can carry memories in a way that words sometimes cannot.
Listen to a favorite song or create a playlist of music your loved one enjoyed.
You might also:
- Listen to recordings or voicemails of their voice, if you have them.
- Play music that reminds you of a special time together.
- Sing a song they loved.
- Listen to an album you enjoyed together.
- Spend time outdoors listening to sounds they loved—the ocean, birds, rain, or wind through the trees.
If listening to a particular song feels too difficult right now, that’s okay, too. You can come back to it when you’re ready.
Create Your Own Way to Remember
There is no single way to honor someone after they’ve died.
You might light a candle on their birthday. Cook their favorite meal every year. Plant a tree or flowers. Visit a favorite place. Wear something that belonged to them. Listen to their favorite song while driving.
Or you may simply smile when you catch a familiar scent or hear a song on the radio.
Remembering someone doesn’t have to be complicated.
Your memories belong to you, and you can choose the ways that feel most meaningful and comforting.
Some reminders may bring laughter. Others may bring tears. Many will bring both.
That’s okay.
Grief and love can exist alongside one another. Finding small ways to remember someone can help you stay connected to the memories, traditions, and moments that made your relationship meaningful.
Delaware Hospice Is Here for You
At Delaware Hospice, we understand that grief is a personal journey, and there is no timeline for how long it should last or how it should look.
If you’re looking for support after the death of someone you love, Delaware Hospice offers grief and bereavement resources for individuals and families in our community.
You don’t have to forget someone to move forward. Their memory can continue to be part of your life in whatever ways feel right to you.
This article was adapted for Delaware Hospice from “Using Your Senses to Honor and Remember Your Loved One,” originally published by betterleave.
